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| SMALL WOODEN PEOPLE |
| 01.30.04 (5:42 pm) [edit] |
The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village. Every Wimmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall an dothers were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But they all wre made by the same carver and all lived in the village.
And all day, everyday, the Wimmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers. Each Wimmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fiine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmick gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too! Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.
Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots.
Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so Wimmicks would give him more dots. He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him more dots.
After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step into the water, and then Wemmicks would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one without reason.
"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another
"He's not a good wooden person."
After a while Punchinello believed them, "I'm not a good Wemmick," he would say. The few times he went outside he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.
One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia. It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off.
Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.
"That's the way I want to be," thought Punchinello. "I don't want anyone's marks." So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it.
"It's easy," Lulia replied. "everyday I go see Eli."
"Eli?"
"Yes, Eli. The wooden carver. I sit in the workshop with him."
"Why?"
"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there."
And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.
"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out.
Lucia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots.
"It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli. He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. Up there he saw a hammer as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard.
"I'm not staying here!" and he turned away to leave. Then he heard his name.
"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.
Punchinello stopped. "Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman.
"You know my name? the little Wemmick asked."
"Of course I do. I made you."
Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm," he spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."
"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."
"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."
"You don't?"
"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots?
They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinelllo, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."
Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Everyday I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks."
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers ony stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, less you care about the stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me everyday and let me remind you how much I care."
Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.
"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out he door. "You are special because I made you, and I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it."
And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.
- -Author Unknown-
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Great told story, don't you think?
Have a blessed day!
Unc Paul
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| living life to the full ? |
| 01.27.04 (4:54 pm) [edit] |
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to
the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near
death experience. During that experience she sees God
and ask if this is it.
God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the
hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.
She even has someone come in and change her hair color.
She figures since she's got another 30 years she might
as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.
She arrives in front of God and complains:
"I thought you said I had another 30 years.
God replies, "I didn't recognize you."
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To lead a full life, does it mean we need to look physically good?
Have a blessed day
Unc Paul
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| a perspective on learning and giving |
| 01.20.04 (9:52 pm) [edit] |
The story is told of a Franciscan monk in Australia was assigned to be the guide and "gofer" to the late Mother Teresa when she visited New South Wales. Thrilled and excited at the prospect of being so close to this great woman, he dreamed of how much he would learn from her and what they would talk about. But during her visit, he became frustrated. Although he was constantly near her, the friar never had the opportunity to say one word to Mother Teresa. There were always other people for her to meet.
Finally, her tour was over, and she was due to fly to New Guinea. In desperation, the Franciscan friar spoke to Mother Teresa: If I pay my own fare to New Guinea, can I sit next to you on the plane so I can talk to you and learn from you? Mother Teresa looked at him. You have enough money to pay airfare to New Guinea? she asked.
Yes, he replied eagerly. "Then give that money to the poor," she said. "You'll learn more from that than anything I can tell you."
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It's Chinese New Year tomorrow and for those of us who follow the tradition of giving "ang pows" do consider an ang pow to somone needy.
Have a blessed day and Chinese New Year
Unc Paul
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| male and female perspectives |
| 01.18.04 (4:42 am) [edit] |
Don't know where these originated from but I like it as it's about perspectives i.e [b]IT DEPENDS[/b]
NICKNAMES:
If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT:
And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in a $20 bill, even though the total is only $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
(Editor note to married men: Forget your mistakes. There's no sense in two people remembering the same thing.)
GROCERIES:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
SHOES:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.
CATS:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
LAUNDRY:
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful
women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by reruns of old episodes of "Love, American Style."
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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I know it is sterotyping but it's still funny.
Have a blessed day
Unc Paul
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| will we ever be happy politically? |
| 01.15.04 (5:11 pm) [edit] |
Politics is a compelx and messy subject and I must make clear that it confuses me.
As USA politics is so often in the news as they are the biggest real political superpower around ... this though suddenly struck me due to the baarage of news and comments and activities related to USA politcs.
No matter who becomes president, I think the US citizens will never be happy. Everyone seems so critical about everything. I think it may be a a cultural thing?? Freedom of speech (USA style) seems to be taken that that everyone thinks that his or her issue is the biggest
thing in the world and that if the president or whoever the candiates may be doesn't bend to my demands, then that's it - I boycott, I protest, I threaten etc...
This is so unlike much Asian politics (which I am not
necessarily praising!) where the basic culture is to give and take ... dialogue etc. So does polital happiness also [b]DEPEND [/b]on cultural expectations?
Makes me wonder if this is the reason why US presidents don't take their people's opinions that seriously. Like that old song which goes ... [i]"can't
please everyone ... so you gotta please yourself". [/i]I think that if every little cause becomes a big deal you will end up ignoring most of the "protests" etc or
you just can't function if you try to please everyone.
For me, I have found that there are 101 things I am not so happy about that I wished were different but I realise that no one si perfect (least of all myself) and thus I have to choose what I wish to highlight and fight for (timing is important too)
Just a NOTE ... i read long ago that the late Kennedy had less than 50% of the popular vote etc yet he is
sometimes immortalised as the most wonderful and best loved president. Why is that?
Just my 2 cents
Have a blessed day!
Unc Paul
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| AGING INTELLIGENCE TEST |
| 01.14.04 (4:49 pm) [edit] |
Got this from www.MikeysFunnies.com!
AGING INTELLIGENCE TEST
How's your aging intelligence? Take the following test here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." The spaces are so you don't see the answers until you have made your own.... OK, relax, clear your mind
and.... begin.
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1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as "Children's World." If you said, "water" then proceed to Question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what are you still doing here reading these questions?? If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.
4. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room.
Everyone else proceed to the final question.
5. Without using a calculator -
You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!
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What I find interesting about jokes and humour such as this is that it tells us a lot about how we think and the how much of our thinking (if we are not careful) are "conditioned by external factors.
Have ab blessed day and oh .. sorry for the lack of posting - busy as a bee. Therfe is more to life than blogs ... : :D
Unc Paul
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| let's not wait ... |
| 01.11.04 (4:36 am) [edit] |
Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.
He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note, and read, "Hey Goofball, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"
Have a blessed day - live for the day
Unc Paul
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| induhvidual confusion |
| 01.09.04 (5:20 pm) [edit] |
[b]From an old Dilbert Newsletter ...[/b]
Some topics seem to confuse Induhviduals more than others. For example, they seem to have special trouble with concepts involving wildlife, vision and their own pants. See for yourself in these true quotes from Induhvidual bosses and Cow-orkers, submitted by
DNRC members:
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A VP was speaking at a meeting and said, "Well, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him crap." Someone up front said, "That's drink...can't make him drink." To which the VP said, "That's stupid."
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"In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed horse is king!"
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A cow-orker once said, "Looks like he's thrown a wrench in the monkeyworks."
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"A two-prawn approach is necessary."
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Here is a mangled expression the CIO at our company told me the other day. We were discussing an issue we both agreed upon and he said I was "preaching to the blind."
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"He won't last, he's just a flash in the pants."
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One of the employees called in to say that she couldn't come to work because she "...had to have an autopsy."
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My boss was telling a very involved story about something that happened to him. He leaned back nonchalantly and offered as a philosophical summary: "Sometimes fact is stranger than truth."
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"It's a catch 20-20."
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Our former boss suffered from the excessive use of mixed metaphors. An all-time howler was the day we asked him what his plans were to ensure success for a campaign and his reply was "Don't worry; I've got an ace up my hole."
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At a management meeting, my CEO said, "Our company is like a living orgasm." Now that's what I call job satisfaction.
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I overheard a manager congratulating an Induhvidual on having achieved a goal. The Induhvidual replied, "It was nothing. You planted the seed, and I ran with it."
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In a meeting a cow-orker of mine referred to "the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
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"We are going to be shooting from the seat of our pants on this one."
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These all came from the same boss:
"Vision is in the eyes of the beholder."
"Part of the verbiage is a language thing."
"Eventually, I want it now."
"It's not that kind of zero."
"There are a lot of areas for efficiency reductions."
"In the last year, you've turned around 150%."
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When a high-powered agent of the company walked into the lunch room, our secretary remarked to our group that she couldn't stand him because he was "so ego-testicle." One of my cow-orkers spit coffee out of his nose, which just added to the moment.
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"I think you might have hit the nail on the button."
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"...caught between a rock and a wet spot."
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And my nomination for scariest thing a boss ever said:
"I was thinking about you in the shower this morning and I thought of a name for you."
* Well, I guess we know what we are thinking about but in life a lot of things just doesn't come out right ...
:lol:
Have a blessed and fun day
Unc Paul
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| a great gift |
| 01.07.04 (5:00 pm) [edit] |
It's only Thursday morning and I am already tired. It's a pretty busy week and the next few months look pretty hectic. BUT my work is satisfying so that's a great consolation.
On Christmas morning I preached a sermon on gifts and giving - entitled looking for the perfect gift. Not posting it here but a joke I received in my inbox that I think is really funny as it is about the different perceptions of what is a good gift - from the viewpoint of the giver and receiver. Enjoy!
"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," little Joshua said to his uncle, the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best present I ever got."
"That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?"
"Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow replied. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night!"
:lol:
Have a blessed day
Unc Paul
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| funny perspectives part two |
| 01.06.04 (4:45 pm) [edit] |
More stuff to think about ...
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas undera tree.
How is it possible to have a civil war?
I am not fat, I am a nutritional overachiever.
I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
I doubt, therefore I might be.
I may be fat, but you're ugly. I can lose weight!
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
I think, therefore I am overqualified.
I used to be conceited, but now I'm absolutely perfect.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If #2 pencils are so good, why don't they ever become #1?
Jesus paid the price. You get to keep the change.
Keep the faith... But not from others!
Life is not so much a matter of position as of disposition.
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently-talented fool.
Some folks wear their halos much too tight.
Some folks won't look up until they're flat on their backs.
Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets oiled, sometimes it gets replaced.
Swallowing your pride seldom leads to indigestion.
The definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out; put new ones in.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposalprobably eats better than 30% of the people in this world.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their
games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic
Who are these people that have the time to figure out how many of ANYTHING placed end-to-end would circle the planet?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a chapter 11?
Wife to husband: "This Christmas let's give each other sensible gifts,
like ties and fur coats."
"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever." - Anonymous
Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, and middle age just looks tired.
Have a blessed day!
Unc Paul
:wink:
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| funny perspectives part one |
| 01.05.04 (6:00 pm) [edit] |
Got this from
www.MikeysFunnies.com in case you want to see them all ... as I took some out and there are So many that I better break it up into two ...
I find it so interesting that people see things from different perspectives...
43% of all statistics are useless.
A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
A man's best friend is his dog. That's assuming you want a friend who messes on your carpet and drools on your newspaper.
A penny saved is worthless.
A person who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
A rose by any other name would stick you just as bad and draw just as much blood when you grab a thorn.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
After four decimal places, nobody cares.
All computers wait at the same speed.
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
[bumper snicker] DANGER! I drive like you do.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Don't question authority. It hasn't got a clue!
Drive carefully. 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.
Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write "A good doctor!"
Even hypocrites admire righteousness. That is why they imitate it.
Everyone has 20/20 hindsight.
Experience is the one thing you have plenty of when you're too old to get a job.
Frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them.
Have a fun and blessed day!
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| forgiveness |
| 01.04.04 (5:08 am) [edit] |
Frederick Buechner said: When somebody you have wronged forgives you, you are spared the dull and self-diminishing throb of a guilty conscience. When you forgive someone who has wronged you, you are spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride for both parties. Forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside your own skin and to be glad in each
other's presence.
Does this make sense?
I have found that if I won't forgive someone, chances are that person couldn't care less - life for him goes on as usual BUT the bitterness from the unforgiving feelings within me eats me up insides and makes you miserable.
Better to forgive - its for our own benefit :-)
Have a blessed day
Unc Paul
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| Be careful what you wish for in 2004 |
| 01.02.04 (5:07 pm) [edit] |
Old story ... but really fun!
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,"
and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
"That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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Isn't it interesting how we all have differnt perspectives? And that what we say may not be what we mean? That's a good reminder for me for 2004 as was in 2003 ... try to give others the benefit of the doubt.
Hav a blessed day
Unc Paul
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