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| moving on ... |
| 05.10.04 (5:42 pm) [edit] |
Moving on to another blog site mblog under lifewalk.
Can do more there ...even upload graphics for free :-)
New phase in life I suppose ... do drop by at
http://www.mblog.com/lifewalk/" title="http://www.mblog.com/lifewalk/" target="_blank"http://www.mblog.com/lifewalk...
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Have a blessed day
Unc Paul
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| TRUE QUOTES ABOUT SCIENCE FROM KIDS |
| 05.10.04 (1:36 am) [edit] |
Again from Mike's Funnies ...
But I do wondr whether some adults woud do any better ...
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~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
~ Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
~ Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
~ Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
~ Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
~ The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.
~ Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
~ Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.
~ The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.
~ The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
~ A permanent set of teeth consist of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
~ The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
~ A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
~ Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
~ Liter: A nest of young puppies.
~ Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
~ Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
~ Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.
~ Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
~ Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.
~ Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
~ To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
~ For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.
~ For dog bite put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
~ For head cold use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
~ To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
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Have fun filled blessed day! I'm trying to :-)
Unc Paul
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| If you visit the South, please keep the following in mind... |
| 05.07.04 (6:25 pm) [edit] |
sent by a friend ... Thought it funny :-)
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If you visit the South, please keep the following in mind...
If you are going to live, or visit in the South, you need to know the rules. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rules of the Southerner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter a Southern State.
1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more
work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you
drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive
it or get it out of the way.
3. The red dirt - it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color
don't wash your car for a couple weeks - it'll be permanent.
4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven
years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to
us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for
those little 13-inch trout you fish for - bait.
7. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
8. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure
it's not up to your ear at the time.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
two pounds of ham and turkey.
10. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice
and is sweet. You want it hot - sit it in the sun. You want it
unsweetened - add a lot of water.
11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet,
and served over ice.
12. So you have a sixty thousand-dollar car. We're real
impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine that we
only use two weeks a year.
13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop
when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
14. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before
we eat (yeah, even breakfast). We go to church on Wednesdays
and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday
nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes,
ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunda y drives around town
to see friends and neighbors.
15. We don't do "hurry up" well.
16. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them.
You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock.
17. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream and carp. You really
want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
18. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Interstate 85 goes two ways - Interstate 40
goes the other two. Pick one.
19. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some
pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them,
then you want cream of wheat - go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.
20. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove
season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane
syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.
21. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called
being friendly. Understand the concept?
22. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards.
It spooks the fish and bothers the gators -and if you hit it in the
rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not
baseball players.
23. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving
like an idiot - his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.
24. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You
park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
25. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions.
The liberal contingent of our state legislature - all four of them enacted
a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag
burner.
Mary Alice
E-Flock Ministries
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Have a blessed day
Unc Paul
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| A Higher Standard? On Iraq POW treatment |
| 05.05.04 (5:51 pm) [edit] |
Ok, some serious stuff here ... I am not American and I will not even say I am pro American but I am a Christian. The pictures of the POW's being abused is still hot - to the extent that some say it may be a hoax ... whatever ...
What do yout hink of chuck Colson's comments?
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BreakPoint with Charles Colson
Commentary #040505 - 05/05/2004
A Higher Standard
The True Face of America's Military
Along with the rest of America, I am incensed and saddened by the allegations that members of our military tortured and humiliated Iraqi prisoners who were in their custody. It's unimaginable—or it would be if they hadn't compounded their evil with sickening photographs.
The soldiers excused themselves in part because they didn't have clear orders. Nonsense. There are things we can't not know; the truth is written on all of our hearts. Those people had to know that they were doing wrong, orders or no orders. And someone should have had the conscience and the courage to step out of the pack and put a stop to it. I know how the herd mentality works, and people do get sucked in, but this was over the top.
Of course, human depravity should hardly come as a surprise to anyone with a Christian worldview. I've worked in prisons for thirty years now. I've seen horrendous abuses—for example, prisoners being raped to make them controllable while guards looked the other way. And often guards themselves actively abuse their positions. Like the soldiers serving as prison guards in Iraq, it's an example of the corruption and depravity in every human heart.
In his wonderful book Not the Way It's Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin, Neal Plantinga makes the point that once we start to give in to sin there's a steady, creeping process by which we descend into greater corruption. It starts with little things, grows into bigger things, and eventually consumes our personality. It's politically incorrect these days to talk about sin, but the photographs from Iraq ought to remind us all that sin is a very grim reality.
Nonetheless, the fact that we're all sinners, while it keeps us from being self-righteous, does not excuse these men and women. They need to be tried and, if guilty, punished quickly. The world, particularly the Arab world, needs to see that American democracy defends human rights and decency and demands justice, even when we must punish our own.
In this case, punishment needs to be swift, not only because of the severity of the crimes, but also because we must vindicate the reputation of America's military. Let's not allow our men and women in uniform to be tarred by these bad apples. Our armed forces have always been distinguished by a sense of decency and caring. The late historian Stephen Ambrose pointed out that throughout history, when armies entered villages, the people fled in panic. But when the American military enters a village, children run to meet them, viewing them as liberators and friends. And that's the American way, the way it's supposed to be.
There is a streak of decency in Americans. The reason is historic, rooted in the worldview of the founders of this country. It's our fidelity to the Declaration of Independence, which states our belief in the rights of all human beings—the only document in the world like it. It's our commitment to freedom. And when I was in the Marines, this was drummed into our heads: We were to kill the enemy but always protect the innocent.
I've seen enough of America's finest this year in Iraq to realize that, on the whole, they still share those beliefs and commitments. Seeing their bravery, their professionalism, and idealism has restored my faith in this generation. These men and women live their lives and do their jobs according to a higher standard—all the more reason why those who failed to meet that standard, those who gave in and let sin corrupt them, need to face justice.
For printer-friendly version, simply visit www.breakpoint.org and click on Today's Commentary. The printer-friendly link is on the left-hand column.
Copyright (c) 2004 Prison Fellowship
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED
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Have a blessed day and keep in mind that sin is very real.
Unc Paul
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| THE MEANEST MOTHER |
| 05.04.04 (4:37 pm) [edit] |
THE MEANEST MOTHER
By Bobbie Pingaro (1967)
I had the meanest mother in the whole world.
While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.
But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.
My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.
We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?
The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept, my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.
She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us - and it nearly did.
By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year. Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hangnail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.
As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.
My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did.
She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults. Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean.
Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.
Copyright 1967 Bobbie Pingaro. Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes.
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Mikey's Thot for the Day:
A mother can touch a whole generation just by loving her own child well.
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PASS IT ON! Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them you got it from
www.MikeysFunnies.com!
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Have a blessed day
Unc Paul
:D
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